8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
