id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
