i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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