i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
