Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
