Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Life is so much better after having sex.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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