why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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