do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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