its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
