I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
