I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
