I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
