So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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