Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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