I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize