I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
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On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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