How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
