did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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