I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
