i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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