This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
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His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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