YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
