if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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