The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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