They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Randomize
