Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
