the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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