ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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