This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
