Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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