I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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