I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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