Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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