M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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