Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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