Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
