The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
