If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
