So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
