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• (714): View more from California

  So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him

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• (516): View more from New York

  everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (707): View more from California

  You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (253): View more from Washington

  First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere

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• (585): View more from New York

  She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.

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• (909): View more from California

  So was it everything you dreamed it would be

  (760): View more from California

  I puked.

  (760): View more from California

  Twice.

  (909): View more from California

  So is that a yes?

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