I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!