Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

he's my edward cullen

(770): View more from Georgia

I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I got her a Nickelback box set.

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(631): View more from New York

I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(702): View more from Nevada

The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves

(806): View more from Texas

That's not technology. Doesn't count.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?

(651): View more from Minnesota

Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better

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(614): View more from Ohio

i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.

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(661): View more from California

I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.

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