There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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