I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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