Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
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