do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
