Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
