I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
