He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
