My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
