Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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