Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
