I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize