I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
