You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
