She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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