I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
