this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
