As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
