talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
