she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
