we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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