that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
