I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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