well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
