We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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