If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
