this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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