i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
