i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you traded sex for a burrito?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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