oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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